CHAPTER 4
LIVING WITH MARTRYS
When I moved to Alabama I moved in with my cousin Pam right next door to the Bowens. I was back but this time with a driver licenses and a GED.I had also bought a car with my grant and student loan, instead of giving it to my mother for drugs. I figured if all else fell I could sleep in my car. So, while everyone else worked in the field. I went to college and was planning to be an Attorney. I was going to prove a mixed spic-wop could amount to something. Everything was fine until a white man asked me out. I could not believe he asked me out. I mean, I knew I was pretty, but I was foreign looking and I had never meet any one who would not be ashamed of going out with a spic or wop. All the guys I had ever met might have quote “poked her” when no body was looking but a date. So I admit I was excited and was on cloud nine. The guy could not believe I did not have sex and I was waiting till I got married. He said he thought girls like that did not exist any more. I asked him. If my uncle told him I was mixed. He said yeah! That he was waiting at my uncle till time to pick up a date but the date had stood him up, so he came back to my uncle’s house when he asked my uncle did he know any pretty young singles girls that’s when he told me about you. He said my uncle had already told him because most people have a problem with it, but he fount foreign women exotic that they made good wives. Then he said for instance you think I could find a white girl waiting till she is married. I told him I had never really thought about it. He said he had dated an Asian girl before and he thinks white women are too demanding. A few days later he said I hear you are looking for an apartment, we could move in together and share the bills if you want. “I would love to have me a little Latino to be my girl”. We would not get married but it would be like we were married, who knows a few years when we see it is going to last we might could. I went home and thought about it all night. I started thinking I might as well face it sex is apart of life and what is the chances of finding another white man who does not have a problem with me being mixed. Besides the only other people that had asked me out was Mario from the grape fields in Georgia. One day I told Mario I would meet him at the field at 100 pm one Sunday but I never showed up because my Paw-paw had left to the store with his big rock-valor on the back of his truck. I knew if I went and my Paw- paw saw me talking to him on his way back in the fields, he might do something crazy. I knew how my Paw-paw felt about Mexicans; I did not have any Idea where I belong as far as a mate and was too scared to even ask. I was afraid a white man would never have me and was scared my Paw- Paw would have a cow if I dated a Mexican. After thinking about my mother telling me no one would ever love me it did not take long for me to decide I better take the chance. So the next day I told him ok. We rented a place and were set to move in the following week. When about two night before we were to move in together he took me to a wooded area and started talking ugly to me he said that I better not be planning to not sleep with him when we live together that he hopes I know that he aspects me to be his wife that the only reason we are not getting married is because he had gotten married before it did not work out and ended up costing a lot of money to divorce. That he expected it to be a trial marriage and if it worked we would later be married. It broke my heart so I said here I am and laid back and cried while he had sex with me.
Two days later we moved in together. I had already been emotionally crushed by the other night. I did not like him any more but did not want to have to face all the red neck family telling me they told me so. I felt I had to prove I could be loved and get along with someone for once in my life. I had been abused and told I could not get along with any one until I believed it. I had come to believe that the problem was I, not excepting my place on the society pole. I mean everyone I had met seem to feel I was less and they could do whatever and treat me how ever, and that I had no right to say no or to have any opinion. Well, we moved in together but I only stayed about 4 days then just disappeared. I started working 3 jobs, working a round the clock. I was not going to school because it was at the end of semester when I met him and he convinced me that I did not need to go to college that all I needed to do was to take care of him, so I had quit college. On about the tenth day of working around the clock at three different hamburger joints at the same time, a Doctor on his lunch break ran a red light in an SUV hitting me right at my door. I spent all night at the hospital with a swollen spleen until about 4 o’clock, an hour before I had to be at work for my morning job. I went to work but was told that I had been fired because I had a secret shopper my first day and the results were in and that the policy is if you score low you are fired automatically. That was when Assam Muhammad told me that if I waited till the shifted ended I could follow him home and talk to his brother. That maybe his brother, the manager could hire me back. So, I waited, and then followed him home. He told me that his brother would be home in about an hour from college and I could wait here on the couch for him.
Remember, when I said I had worked for 10 day around the clock well I was not kidding so as I waited I fell a sleep and woke up three days later. As I woke up I looked up and saw a guy name Sahib SiddiQue who I had never see before I felt embarrassed and started to leave but Sahib Siddique said Assam was there. I heard him say something in Urdu then Assam came in I sort of giggle and said I fell a sleep. I then asked how long had I been asleep. Suddenly everyone started laughing and talking in Urdu. Then, Sahib Siddique said “three days, we almost called the police but we were scare to because, well we were afraid the police might think we had did something to make you sleep like dead lady. The first day, we thought you were just sleepy from being all night at the hospital. The second day we thought you were drugged and the police might think we drugged you. The third day we thought we really should have called, but then was even more scared: We had waited too late not to look guilty but we were worried because three days of poking and shaking did not move you. You even fell off the couch in the floor and still did not wake-up. We had no idea what to do.” I said “no way” they all laughed and spoke in Urdu. Assam told me that he had to go to school but his brother would be here after he got off work, for me to wait. I decided to wait because being I had slept for three days I had lost all three jobs. I was homeless and, now jobless. About 30 min. after Assam left, Sahib Siddique said he was going to the mall and I could go if I wanted that he would be back before Sahib Muhammad, the guy I had begun to want for 3 day ago. I said are you sure? He said yes! So, we went to the mall. As we walked around he said you are not American are you? I said what makes you say that? He said well, first you do not look American, and second you do not act American. I asked how do Americans act? He then said well, they are very how would you say, you know like to have attention, very flirty, always look the man in the eye. Every since you came to work at Kristy’s little burgers all us have talk how you are the only woman we met here in America that never looks us in the eye you look down and away. That’s why we think you scored low and lost your job. Remember the movies you watched at orientation about greet the customer with eye contact and smile. Well, never once have I seen you look any one in the eye. And look you walk a few steps behind me not once have you stood beside me. Even at work you follow us. I then said so if you all know this why would you hire me back? Well in our country you would be considered a well-mannered lady but unfortunately this is a franchise and the ones who sent word for you to be fired is in the main office, the ones who make the videotapes. The good news is they only said to fire you they never said he could not hire you back. As we got back to the house it started to rain so I went to roll my car windows up as I was rolling the windows up Shahib Siddique said throw me your keys. I said what for? He said just throw me them, So, I did. He then took my keys open my trunk pulled my covers out. I went to take the covers from him embarrassed. When he said do not worry every one is at school or work no one will see us take it inside. I said how did you know. He said well first every where you work there is a Pakistanian and your eyes down has got you known. So it was not long before every one knew who you were and with three jobs. Plus somebody I am not saying who saw you parked at, how do you say, maky-out mountain parked sleeping when he went with an America girl to maky-out. Then he told me not to worry no one would bother me. So, we went in and soon Sahib Muhammad was there. He came in and saw me on the coach then he started talking in Urdu then everyone started talking. Then finally Sahib Muhammad said that he was not able to hire me back until 90 days had passed but that they had all decided to let me stay with them. I said but I have no money for rent he then said they are 6 of us here we divide the rent, bills and food, Besides in our country it is not appropriate for the woman to pay. Then Assam Abdul said Patho and rubbed my head. I ask him what Patho was he said your nickname. Then they all talked Urdu all saying something about Patho laughing. Then Assam Muhammad Said something in Urdu then they said that means time to eat. They then laid out news paper on floor in a long rectangle then we sat along the side, eating meat in a hot gravy like sauce and refried rice with (Rudi) a tortilla like bread with our fingers sitting Indian style. After we ate everyone went to bed. Sahib Siddique said something too Assam Muhammad in Urdu everyone laughed and he picked up my covers and took them to his room. I later learnt why, he was afraid Assam Muhammad would try to mess with me. I slept on Sahib Siddique’s bed while he sleeps in the floor.
When they were at school or worked I watched cartoons. Then when they came home they played and cut up with me as long as Sahib Muhammad wasn’t home. It did not take me long to realize Sahib Muhammad was more serious person and was the leader. After a few days I was actually happy and could not wait for Assam Adul and Assam Hussar to get home. Boy, did we play and cut up. We played karate; we jumped on the beds they even taught me Urdu. They would teach me something cute that was innocent if pronounced right but was very ugly if pronounced wrong. For example, I like duck in honey. But if a person who barley speaks English said it. It could sound like they said I like fucking honey.
Later, I fount out why they called me Patho. One night after telling Sahib about the accident where my mother put me in the trunk, He said, that explained it! I asked explained what? He said sometimes people stay young and pure at heart longer than others. He also said sometimes Allah sends people to test us to see what we will do. Then he told me about a Little Movie Star in their country who made movies about a cute little curly headed orphan named Patho that made every one happy and just so happen look liked me. I told him that Patho sounded like our Sherly Temple but I did not look like Sherly Temple. But when I was in Job Corp they called me Culy Sue. And that I later saw the movie and she really did look like me just with a good tan. Later own we rented the movie Curly Sue and Sahib said Curly Sue looked just like me, and thier Patho too. Every thing was fine until one night Sahib did not come home until early morning. Just so happen Sahib Muhamad, his brother Assam Muhammad and Assam Amid was working third shift. So, Assam Hussein , Assam Abdul and I were the only ones home. We played all night usually some one had came home and we all would get serious but we played until about one o’clock in the morning when we finaly went to sleep.
Sahib Siddique had gone to a party at another Shahib’s house that was in their group. ( I know a lot of Shahibs and Assams) He also worked at the kristies little burgers. This Shahib had met some party girls at college and they showed them beer and pot. So later own that night or rather early morning Sahib Saddique came home and instead of getting in the floor he got in the bed with me. I woke up to him pulling off my clothes. I was scared, shocked and surprised all at the same time. I did not even know who it was until it was over. In the morning I was quiet. I did not say a word and did not dare to look at him nor him at me He left the room as soon as he woke up with an ashamed walk saying I fell the test I never knew what he meant till years later. As he walked out of the room I heard everyone in a, what appeared to be a Shahib was in trouble kind of conversation in Urdu. He then went to work from work to school I stayed in the room a few days but then it was back to normal like nothing had happen but my playing around seem to bother Sahib Muhammad a little more now. And he kept telling Sahib Siddique in Urdu something having to do with me in a" you better attitude". A few days later Sahib Siddique told me that after what we did, what WE did (I thought we) we where to be married but no one could ever know we had did that before we were married in Pakistan I thought (in Pakistan) He then Called his parents and told them that he had fount a young, Italian lady at college and would like to make her his wife, that I lived in the ladies dorm at school and told his parent I was not American I was Italian born in the States. He then asked his parents to send three muslim dresses Federal Express.
After, he hung up the phone he told me I would have to start school as soon as possible in nursing that nursing was a good job for a lady in Pakistan and that was what he told his parent I took. He also said to never claim to be American to claim I was Italian (by both parents) born in the States that it would be better. And no matter what never let any one know we had already had sex to even lie if necessary. He also said He was going to send me to Pakistan about 6 months before the wedding so his mother could help me learn how to be a Pakistani wife. Then said that for the next two years we would live together in secret. He also brought home a Qaron and a book on how to be a Muslim Women They all would hide me when Shiha Amid Mohamed better know as Mr. Religious was around. I asked one day how he got to be so respected. He said it was because he was a martyr. I asked what a martyr was? And Sahib told me that it was a person who gave their life for Allah. I thought he meant about like a Father at a Catholic Church, boy was I wrong. I remember one time Shiha Amid Mohammad came as a surprise I crawled out the window, then went to the park in the Apartment complex. While I waited for them I began to swing, then I stood up leaning forward then lend back while swinging. Little did I know Sahib and Mr. Religious had started strolling in the park while talking? Mr. Religious noticed me first, then Sahib. I did not notice them so I kept swing, and twirling, until I bent completely back wards staring both of them in the face. I looked surprised, but then continued acting as I was before I saw them thinking may be he would think I was just some bodies kid. Unfortunately 12 and 13 years old Muslim are expected to act more mature than in America. So Sahib told him I was a fellow Pakistani ‘s daughter that had mental problems. Boy did we all laugh about that one. I also fount out what the signs on Sahib’s wall meant that day because I asked him why he began to rip them off the wall when he heard Mr. Religious in the living room. Everyone said yeah great teacher tell her your teachings of the wall, laughing Then one said protection. And I said Protection from what? You know? Then they all talked in Urdu Laughing when Assam Hussein suddenly said Trojan-man! But still I had no Idea. They all walked out laughing and talking leaving Sahib to explain. That was the day I learnt Trojan was a kind of condom. The next visit from Mr. Religious we ran into each other face to face with me saying “your dick is little” It all started when every one went to Birmingham to a mass. I knew Mr. Religious was going to be coming from Pakistan but no one knew he was going to visit our Apartment. I had been waiting all day by myself in the Apartment when Assam Hussein came running in and told me that they had but lipstick on Sahib Siddique’s lips all laughing in Urdu. I going to teach you how to say your lips are red in Urdu and when he walks in you tell him his lips looks red. For some reason Sahib was later than expected so I got to practice for about a ½ an hour saying your dick is small, while I really thought I was saying your lips are red. Then suddenly Sahib Siddique walked in with Mr. Religious right behind him and Sahib Mohamed right behind him waving his hands behind lipping no, no Don’t. When I suddenly I said unknowingly in Urdu “your dick is small” Sahib said WHAT! I said again in Urdu, “Your dick is small” WHAT! Y-O-U-R D-I-C-K I-S S-M-A-L-L everyone was laughing and rolling in the floor everyone except Sahib Siddique and Mr. Religious I was for the first time told to go to my bed room and I could tell he was very mad. I then heard a lot of arguing in Urdu. The only words I understood was NO GOOD, which was, said a lot of times. In fact when everyone had left and Sahib came to the room I looked up at him and said in Urdu “I know no good,” crying. Then he asked who had taught me Urdu I said, “Assam, He says, I speak it really well and very clear what do you think”. Suddenly Sahib laughed and laughed. I asked what was so funny. Then he told me that I had told him his dick was small right in front of Shiha Amid Mohamed and plane as day. He said what was the funniest was how I kept repeating it then finally said it slow and expressively clear. He said it was a good thing he was in shock because he would have been rolling in the floor like the rest of them. He then said we were moving to Texas and MR. Religious was going to move to America and be living in Houston too. I said what did he say about me, does he think I am bad? He then said your friend Assam Hussein made it out to be my entire fault. He then said that Shiha had recognized me from the park last time and seems to agree with Assam, that all this is my fault. Mr. Religious decided to stay with the other Sahib’s house since I was there. Boy did Mr. Religious Get another Shock About one a clock in the morning while sleeping on the couch, Mr. Religious heard some giggling and singing, “whoop there it is”. Suddenly the door opened, the light came on and there stood Sahib Kan with his half naked party girl “shaken her thang” like it was maracas. Sahib Kan said when he saw Mr. Religious he thought he was hallucinating from the drugs and try to clear his mind and enjoy the moment when he heard a voice he knew it was not a hallucination but was cold busted.
For some reason he was madder at Sahib Kan, and his party girl: Than Sahib Siddique having me and Assam getting me to say, “your dick is small” in Urdu. Accurse he never looked me in the eyes or spoke to me but I could tell he had sympathy and respect for me in a very weird way. I later learnt he also believed Allah sends people in our paths as test to see what we will do, And Sahib had fell big time. I did not understand the test part but I understood I was able to stay, even go to Texas with them and then to California. MR Religious was more concerned that Sahib corrected his mistake by teaching me how to be a Muslim and making me his wife. I actually like the idea of going to Pakistani and living with his family. I had never had a family just pasted here to there. I would be his wife, just so I could be apart of his family even though I did not even know where Pakistan was. Besides, URDU and ARIBIC were easy and exciting. Plus more than one wife would mean friends to help do chores. I wanted a family too bad to be jealous. His mother sounded nice on the phone. I thought how wrong was my mother. I was going to have a whole big family to love me. Best of all the men were not allowed to look women in the eyes and you were to cover all over. Being traumatized and around crazy sex freaks all my life, it sounded good to me
THE REST IS WHAT I
HAVE IN MY HEAD
WOULD N'T AMERICA
WANT TO KNOW!!!!
I HAVE WHAT THEY
WANT IN MY HEAD
THE GOVERMENT
HAS 2 LITTLE THINGS I WANT!!
bravenet.com